So I was laying down in bed with an excruciating headache when my boyfriend offered to make me a sandwich and I was like yeah sure please and then for some reason he got distracted and started to talk about something else and my head was pounding so I said “Cool story, babe. Now go make me a sandwich.” and he just literally looked at me with his mouth open before he finally said “You win this time” and went out to the kitchen
At long last after years of hearing this annoying joke coming from men’s mouths and overpriced shirts I get to say it to a guy.
Here’s a photo of the lil bitch where he belongs.
He is going to kill me when he sees this already has like 40 freaking notes
let’s make this go viral
*whispers* what have I done….
I showed him the notes and he said “oh god i’m gonna be a meme.”
Your boyfriend reminds me of my husband. We’ve been together for 9 1/2 years, married for 7.
You keep him. You keep him and you never let him go.
Apparently my boyfriend is the love child of Anton Chekhov and Harry Styles
The people have spoken
My hand slipped.
The Nice-Guy-McSandwhich-Meme, use it, please:
Here’s your meme
Oh my god I love you guys so much
NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
NO “MATTER”. EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
Photos like this remind me of
(Source: agirlandhisplatypus, via ammo121)