The Lovely Utterances

57,052 notes

surfandwrite:

someguyontheinternets:

sweetjesuswhatanatheist:

anuminous:
surfandwrite

themanwhocantdie:

surfandwrite:

surfandwrite:

the-fault-in-our-youtubers:

surfandwrite:

surfandwrite:

So I was laying down in bed with an excruciating headache when my boyfriend offered to make me a sandwich and I was like yeah sure please and then for some reason he got distracted and started to talk about something else and my head was pounding so I said “Cool story, babe. Now go make me a sandwich.” and he just literally looked at me with his mouth open before he finally said “You win this time” and went out to the kitchen
At long last after years of hearing this annoying joke coming from men’s mouths and overpriced shirts I get to say it to a guy.
Here’s a photo of the lil bitch where he belongs.

He is going to kill me when he sees this already has like 40 freaking notes

let’s make this go viral

*whispers* what have I done….

I showed him the notes and he said “oh god i’m gonna be a meme.”

Your boyfriend reminds me of my husband. We’ve been together for 9 1/2 years, married for 7.
You keep him. You keep him and you never let him go.

Apparently my boyfriend is the love child of Anton Chekhov and Harry Styles




The people have spoken

My hand slipped.


The Nice-Guy-McSandwhich-Meme, use it, please:


Here’s your meme


Oh my god I love you guys so much

surfandwrite:

someguyontheinternets:

sweetjesuswhatanatheist:

anuminous:

surfandwrite

themanwhocantdie:

surfandwrite:

surfandwrite:

the-fault-in-our-youtubers:

surfandwrite:

surfandwrite:

So I was laying down in bed with an excruciating headache when my boyfriend offered to make me a sandwich and I was like yeah sure please and then for some reason he got distracted and started to talk about something else and my head was pounding so I said “Cool story, babe. Now go make me a sandwich.” and he just literally looked at me with his mouth open before he finally said “You win this time” and went out to the kitchen

At long last after years of hearing this annoying joke coming from men’s mouths and overpriced shirts I get to say it to a guy.

Here’s a photo of the lil bitch where he belongs.

He is going to kill me when he sees this already has like 40 freaking notes

let’s make this go viral

*whispers* what have I done….

I showed him the notes and he said “oh god i’m gonna be a meme.”

Your boyfriend reminds me of my husband. We’ve been together for 9 1/2 years, married for 7.

You keep him. You keep him and you never let him go.

Apparently my boyfriend is the love child of Anton Chekhov and Harry Styles

The people have spoken

My hand slipped.

image

The Nice-Guy-McSandwhich-Meme, use it, please:

Here’s your meme

Oh my god I love you guys so much

(via therealbuckinghamalice)

656,974 notes

lessonsinorgasmicblowjobsessions:

coldswarkids:

edwardspoonhands:

thelegendofkungjew:

doxian:

d-dinosaur:

rknjl:

newvagabond:

NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.

NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE.  LIVE.

URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>

NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
SURVIVE

NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
EVOLVE

NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE. 
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT. 
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA

NO “MATTER”.  EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
BE.

Photos like this remind me of

lessonsinorgasmicblowjobsessions:

coldswarkids:

edwardspoonhands:

thelegendofkungjew:

doxian:

d-dinosaur:

rknjl:

newvagabond:

NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.

NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE.  LIVE.

URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.

<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>

NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN

EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE

PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA

SURVIVE

NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA

REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT

PRETEND IT’S 2BYA

EVOLVE

NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE. 

FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT. 

PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.

STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA

NO “MATTER”.  EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.

THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.

TIME DOES NOT EXIST.

BE.

Photos like this remind me of

(Source: agirlandhisplatypus, via ammo121)

98,206 notes

badgerlord:

unwinona:

urulokid:

tico-taco-ra-ra-ra:

urulokid:

jellybaby74:

urulokid:

zionicbond:

urulokid:

chibitamichan:

urulokid:

Yeah I’m totally elsa kids come on over

I can’t breathe, this is so friggin cute

Like you don’t understand okay I was trapped for an hour on the second floor of the con with hundreds of children and their parents because everyone thought I was Elsa

Am I the only one who thinks she looks like the khaleesi like The mother of dragons?

I was cosplaying dany I was mistaken for Elsa and wound up at a nine yr old girls birthday party this was the best day of my life

I thought she was Kalesi…

YES I WAS COSPLAYING KHALEESI

I WAS HOWEVER MISTAKEN ON AN ENORMOUS SCALE FOR ELSA OF ARENDELLE BY HUNDREDS OF SMALL CHILDREN AND THEIR MOTHERS

well you didnt have to use caps lock…

I AM DAENERYS STORMBORN, THE UNBURNT, OF THE HOUSE TARGARYEN, FIRST OF MY NAME; QUEEN OF MEEREEN; QUEEN OF THE ANDALS, THE RHYNAR, AND THE FIRST MEN; LADY REGNANT OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS, PROTECTOR OF THE REALM, KHALEESI OF THE GREAT GRASS SEA, BREAKER OF CHAINS, AND MOTHER OF DRAGONS 

AND I WILL USE CAPS LOCK IF I SO PLEASE

LET IT GO

LET IT GOOOOOOO

  You might almost call it….

…A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE.

(via ammo121)

Filed under Games of Thrones

150,080 notes

mrrobotico:

fuck-social-justice-blogs:

pervocracy:

snailchimera:

geekgirlsmash:

xekstrin:

comfemgem:

verycooltrash:

huffingtonpost:

Don’t know if we can look at Coke every the same way again. Be prepared to cringe when you watch the full video  here. 

sugar caramelizes when heated, more shocking news to follow

It’s like that guy setting coffee creamer on fire and being like “people drink this stuff!” and it’s like yeah, a dry powder suspended in air is flammable, shock horror.

   

Never show these guys how candy is made, they’ll shit themselves.

*quietly facepalms forever*

I hate when people try to prove foods are unhealthy using properties utterly unrelated to their value as foods.  You can make anything sound gross if you want to.

Did you know that salt is the same chemical we use to defrost sidewalks?!?!

Did you know that water is a major component in pig urine?!?!

Did you know that bread is made of wheat that has been ground into a powder and artificially reconstituted into a loaf shape using a fungus?!?!

Did u know that oxygen is what Hitler used to breathe?????

Bless all this

(via ms-splendiferous)